She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
