I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
