i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
