i would punch a child for taco bell
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
