no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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