Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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