Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
