I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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