just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
