who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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