I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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