why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Operation Purity has been aborted
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
