I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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