On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
