You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
