White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize