I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
