I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
