I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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