I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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