Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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