just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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