Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
