Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
