Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
