So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
