one two three fourrrrnication!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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