What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
