Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
