That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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