i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
