Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
