Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
