It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
