I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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