Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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