I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
