Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
