dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
