paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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