Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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