know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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