But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
