She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
