sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize