she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You need Xanax blowdarts
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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