Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
