oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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