i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
