Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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