brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
meet me or not, i'm out of control
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
