i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
