Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
