so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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