I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
two words: eviction party
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
