remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
