I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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