Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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