Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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