How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
