why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
porn star boner night. come get it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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