Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
