I heard we made out
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize