i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't deserve a penis
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
