He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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