I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
